The Wound of Remembrance
by Slhutcherson
Summary: Three years after the war, Hermione is determine to have a fresh start, away from her scarring, horrid past. Can she forget about an old lover? Will remembering be a flaw in her perfection or a beautiful aspect of her life? Hermione is determined that the war has been nothing but havoc, but sometimes, beauty can bloom from the faintest spark ignited in the flurry of darkness.


**Author's Note:** This is a novel I am writing, the second chapter is WIP and this is in Hermione's POV, a Dramione fic. This is Post-Hogwarts Enjoy Lovelies.

**DISCLAIMER:** J.K. Rowling made Harry Potter, and once again, this is why I am on fanfiction writing out my otp.

Day one: The end of the war.

The war finally was over.  
That was the only thought that was processed by my overwhelmed brain the day that we had defeated Voldemort.

The. War. Is. Over.  
That line was like music to my ears. It was like the sound of freedom and redeemed justice that has been hidden away, hidden alone, hidden far away from the world we lived in.

Now that all of the terror, fear, and prejudice I have grown up to was gone, I could start all over again. I could have a new life.

I reached my hand over to Harry and Ron.  
Linked at the hands, we turned facing away from the hogwarts castle. We faced the horizon, miles, and miles, and miles of land, lake, and mysteries. We looked on, farther and farther from the castle to the blurred outside. This has always been an obstacle for us. Now we don't have to worry. We don't have Voldemort, prejudice, the war, death eaters, the list could go on.  
Now, what we have in reality is better then what we imagined. We have freedom now. We have love, that isn't muffled by the injustice in the world. Love and freedom are so compatible with each other. Where there's love, there's freedom. Where there's freedom, there's love.

The warm wind whispered by us, skimming just within a millimeter of us, not enough to make us cold, but enough to remind us that we are alive, that we are not in heaven just yet. That this isn't too good to be true, but just a reality where war doesn't affect us. This is a reward of our bravery.

The warmth of Harry and Ron's palms against my own calloused hands bring me back to reality. My best friends. My brothers. A surge of affection washed across my nerves, my body. It seeps through my pores, shouts across my bones, and sinks, deep, deep into my brain. We couldn't have done this without them. Harry and Ron.

A grin stretched across my face as this moment, this moment where we all experienced the first taste of freedom, of carelessness and a feeling that everything will be okay one day. This moment is a milestone in our lives, our generation. It has so much meaning to it. Today is the start of a new chapter in all of our lives. The horror and menace of the war was over. Finished. Done.

One year anniversary to the war:

My caramel bronze colored curls danced against my back as I bustled around in the burrow, helping Mrs. Weasley get ready for the sunday brunch. Right now, I was in the middle of buttering the toasts to the right of the fridge as Mrs. Weasley got the stove heated to make some scrambled eggs.

"Hermione dear, could you pass me the eggs please?" Her joyful voice chirped, brightening up the mood with her optimism. I reached over the table to collect the egg carton, the rough texture of the muggle carton caused friction between my fingers.

"Here you go, Mrs. Weasley," I handed the carton to her, making sure not to tip the eggs over.

Mrs. Weasley smiled in gratitute as she began to crack the eggs, one by one. "Thank you dear"

Suddenly, she snapped out of her focus on the eggs and remembered the time. "Oh Merlin, It's almost _noon_ and the two boys are still asleep! I better go wake them!" She stumbled over towards the stairs carful not to knock any bowls and platters over.

"Ron! Harry! Arthur! George! Ginny! Fr-" She stopped suddenly, and the memories came back. Fast, hard, unwelcoming.

Mrs. Weasley's emotions were laid out on her face. As soon as the first two letters of his name was bellowed, she had regretted it. The memories were like an overly strong foundation that connects the bad memories to the newer light that has been resolved after the war ended. They are holding us back, reminding us of the evil that went on that destroyed an important part of us.

Fred's death had not been easy to cope with. Even after the war was over, some things never go away. The pearlescent tears hanging from Mrs. Weasley's eyelids shivered, and then made their way gliding down her worn, slightly wrinkled cheeks, and diving off her chin.

Splat. And onto the table.

"It's okay Mrs. Weasley. It's all over now. Shh it's okay, there's nothing to worry about." I consoled her, a warm gentle hand caressing her shoulder in comfort.

"I'm sorry dear, It's just so hard to get over his death. Come on, let's finish making brunch." Her teary reply came in a hoarse voice. But Mrs. Weasley brought herself back and plastered a somewhat forced smile that stretched to her rosy cheeks.

As she scrambled, boiled, and poached eggs, I made my way to the oven to check on the bread. A waft of butter and fresh baked loaves smacked me in the face as the pleasurable scent filled the room.

This was our life now. Making it through everyday, as normal as possible, and moving on to the future as we tried as hard as possible to bury the memories left over from the period of our lives that was full of injustice, prejudice and fright.

George was the most broken. His best mate, other half, twin brother's death had made a huge impact on his life. Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes was still there, but the usual greeting of two enthusiastic gingers was gone. Now instead, an automated welcome was given to all the customers entering the store.

Snapping back to reality, I slip my hands into the two molded fabric oven mits, and grab the fresh bread from the fiery oven.  
Two footsteps stumbled downstairs, along with careless laughter.

My grin widened as I saw Harry and Ron stumble into the kitchen both boy's hairs tousled and shoving one another.

"Hello Harry, hello Ron" I greeted them,

"Hello Hermione" They both chorused.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione, after brunch Arthur and I have to run some errands at the Ministry, You will come along with us and when we get to the Ministry, I will drop you off at diagon alley." Mrs. Weasley cut in, sending Ron a stern look as he pushed a loaf of bread into his mouth.

"Yes that would be great Mrs. Weasley," I replied for the three of us.

"Excellent. Now eat up,"

***  
One, two, three, four, five. One at a time, the chimney turned emerald green, then red again. One at a time, we flooed to Diagon Alley.

I stepped into the Emerald flames as I pronounced Diagon alley clearly. The flames licked around my calves and danced to my torso as i was engulfed in the sensation of burning and freezing at the same time. My sight kaleidoscopes as the familiar sensation on twisting and turning, feeling weightless takes over and in less than seconds, I tumble out of the sooty chimney, and into the crowded streets of Diagon Alley.

I search around for Harry and Ron, just as Mr and Mrs. Weasley themselves pop out from the chimney.

"Have a good time sweetie, we'll meet you back here in two hours!"

"You too," I shouted back, waving.

Dusting my robes off a little, I pivot in a full circle searching for the flash of ginger hair and the infamous spectacles.

"Harry! Ron! Where are you?"

"Here Hermione!" Ron's friendly wave and warm smile shone in my direction. With a chuckle and a slight shake of my head, I laughed and strode over to where they were, outside of Madam Malkins.

"Harry, Ron, I need to get some new books, so I'll be in Flourish and Blotts. Meet me at the Apothecary in an hour?"

"Sure Hermione. Me and Harry will just be around." Ron replied.

***  
The musky scent of book overtook my brain as I stepped my first step into the store. That was my favorite smell in the world. The smell of all the books, and all the knowledge that they all hold. There are billions, and billions of words in this one room. Unknown topics were painted into the books, the books being the most brilliant work of art in literature.

Sighing happily, I start down the rows, glancing at every single book as if each one was an individual person. I grazed the shelves like this for a while before I bumped into someone while I had my face stuffed into a book.

Embarrassed I looked up.

"I'm sorry, Malfoy," I stuttered, but in my head, my brain was floundering around, bumping into the walls of my skull. I was fidgeting and apprehension overtook my mind, and body.

"It's back to Malfoy now is it Hermione?" His smooth, amused voice rung through the atmosphere.

"Yes it is, Malfoy. It always will be." My retort came fast and stern. Why did I have to bump into Malfoy of all the people? I was trying to forget everything. I was starting all over again. That was my goal when the war ended. I didn't want to be stuck into the time phrase of prejudice and of my mistakes. Mistakes. I wondered, was Malfoy really a mistake?

Suddenly, unwelcome, almost forgotten memories were coming back. The memories that were buried deep into the back of my brain to be forgotten was seeping through the other memories. They were coming back. Clearer again, they were coming back, fast, and I wasn't ready.

_My steps echoed through the corridors. An eerie silence pierced the night, louder then any sound. Louder then my exhilarating heartbeat. Louder than the emotions that were screaming through my mind as I clambered closer and closer._

_Stone tiles that lined the hall reflected the slap of the soles of my feet against the ground._  
_Echo._  
_Echo._  
_Echo._  
_Echo._

_Strands of my curly auburn gold tendrils whipped in my face, but I kept them there. Not caring at all._  
_Echo._  
_Echo._

_I was nearing the tower now. The door taunts me. It's old wooden interior dusty, and shielding. The door was like the boulder that separated me away from the badness in the world. This door led to my sanctuary._

_My warm palm pressed against the cold hard metal. Like fire and ice. Earth and rain. Like Draco and I._

_The door swung open with a click, leading to the never ending stairway. Just a few more steps and I'll reach him. Anticipation clouds my eyes as I clamber up gracefully, taking two steps at a time._

_Echo._  
_Echo._  
_Echo._

_I'm swimming up, Oxygen running out. I'm surrounded by darkness. Faster, faster. My lungs are about to burst. I'm almost there. I see the light. I see the top of the ocean._

_I hit the end of the stairs with a deep breath, like surfacing from the bottom of the ocean._

_Grey, piercing eyes molded from the drops of sterling silver that fate itself cried ,met my soft goldens, the rays of the sun that reflected off the morning dew, clinging onto every leaf, every blade of grass for dear life._

_And my muddled emotions made real colors shone through and a wave of admiration, respect, and even love hit me, blowing the whirlpool of feelings away to a foreign chamber of unkempt emotions, away. Far away._

_I stumbled towards him, no longer able to control my emotions as I collapsed in his arms. Sobs racked my body, and the salty droplets of emotion and weakness poured out faster and faster. I clung onto him, clung onto him harder then I was clinging onto life itself._

_"Dont- don't please don't go," my chapped lips croaked out, "Don't leave me here alone. Don't leave, please."_

_"It's not my choice. He's making me. And-and when the Death Eater comes, you have to hide. I have to do this." whispered Draco, his grey eyes overcome with a mist of emotion._

_"When will I see you again?" came out my choked reply, still engulfed in his embrace._  
_"I-I don't know. And that's what scares me. That I won't be able to be with you again." Draco confessed._

_I realized that this may be the last time I see him ever again. This could be the end of whatever we started this year. I don't want him to slip away. I don't want to lose him. But you can't be sure about anything when this war starts. He's the only person I've loved. I can sit and stare in his eyes. Mirror his smile. Get lost in his presence._

_But that is going to be gone soon. Snatched away from my grasp, and my heart. Torn away from my soul._

Now, I lifted my head, and my strong expression gave way to a tortured look. I can't do this. I can't face Malfoy knowing that somewhere within us our mutual love for each other lies. Yet it is buried beneath the depths of our attempts to protect ourselves.

"I don't want to remember. Malfoy. Draco. Why can't you just let me forget? I want a fresh start."

"You don't get it do you? I don't know about you, but I can't walk by you, in Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, or anywhere without being reminded of what we had. It haunts me every night." His voice softened at the last part. rememberance

"This is exactly what I mean! We will never work out again! We both had one shot at love, and we blew it! At least I did! 3 years Malfoy. 3 years. I'm positive you'd had found someone else. But me? I'm ruined already. I loved you. Fully, truly, loved you. There can only be enough room in your heart for one true love. It hurts me to look at you at realize what we had is history."

"It doesn't have to be history you know. I'm still stuck in our past. Everywhere I look, its you. All you. We loved each other. No one can take that away. Why can't you give it another chance?" a tired sigh escaped from Draco's soft pink lips and for just a sliver of a second I'm mesmerized.

"I can't. I loved you but we fell apart. Can't you accept that?"

"No! I can't. I can't accept it because I still love you. Why can't you just see that?" Draco whispered.

"Because it hurts too much to look back. I wanted a new start after the war. Erase everything that had to do with the war. It kills me inside. That's why I can't accept that. I'm sorry Draco. I love you." I finished. No longer able to look at the man I loved- love so much, I turned out of the store, intermingling with the rest of the busy streets of Diagon Alley.

Author's note: And that was the first chapter of the story! I also posted this on harrypotterfanfiction dot net

Please, please, please leave a review, it means a lot!


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